I’m clearing whatever few days of leave I have for the year and I have a few moments to spare. The long drives to send Xuheng to the infant care and back these few days have been very pensive for me.
The roads are empty, the streets are dark (yes, we send him that early), and it all makes for a very reflective mood for me.
What a crazy, crazy year. In my mind, there is only one phrase to describe it: an emotional roller-coaster.
I have been through so many emotional ups and downs this year that it frequently drains me out.
I started this year on 2nd January beginning a new job. I had one 6 month old kid. I was staying in a small room rented from a kind friend.
365 days later.
I have a different job. I have two kids, a son and a daughter. I now have my own flat in Punggol.
My savings are dwindling every month. My CPF is wiped out.
I am poorer, yet I am richer.
I am happier, yet in some ways more stressed out than ever.
It gets better, but more complicated.
I’m thankful for the many blessings that have come our way. My wife’s strength and support. My parents’ help in the caregiving for the children. Fantastic infant care for Xuheng and a place at the childcare in the new workplace. Our wonderful domestic helper, Aye Mu. My own space in this house.
If you ask me whether I had foreseen myself going through all this at the beginning of the year, I would have said ‘no’. If you had asked me if I ever knew I could juggle this many transitions at one go, honestly I wouldn’t have known. It’s damn tough, but I grind it out living just day by day and saving up my childcare leave.
Perhaps one thing I need to learn is: responsibilities in life never get easier; we just become stronger.