A Dark Night

Last night was particularly rough. Illness aside, only did it dawn on us in the morning that Gardens by the Bay was probably a bad idea. Pollen and airways are not the best of friends.

A night of crying, coughing, sneezing, the poor little one couldn’t sleep as he would constantly be waking up with a cough. Thankfully, he could be soothed by my voice singing some hymns to him; but he would soon be up and crying again; unable to sleep. 11pm to 7am. The hardest part was when both of us have our patience wearing thin.

A million thoughts and emotions run through me: frustration, upset, angry, pity, helpless, stressed. I take many deep breaths over the course of the night and try and maintain my mindfulness and cool. And then he cries again.

When will dawn come? When will dawn come?

Deep breath, search for whatever ounce of calm left. A hymn.

The hymn calms me. The melody is for Xu Heng, but the words are for me. “Jesus doeth all things well, Jesus doeth all things well..” I remind myself. The balm of momentary composure.

It was a rough, dark night. How many of these will we have to endure, Lord?

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